by Kim Walsh-Phillips
Back when I was single, I went on many first dates. While some were great (the greatest of which led to my marriage to my very patient and loving husband), I also went on a lot of bad dates. The worst I will label– the Narcissists and the Too-Serious-Too-Soon Guys.
A tell-tale sign of the Narcissist was that he would show up for our date in a shirt two sizes too small in order to let me know the amount of time he had spent in the gym. He would have a beautiful smile, but would spend most of our time together talking about himself with very few questions directed toward me except ones such as “why did you say yes to going out with me?” which was really more about him. While very pretty, the thought of going out with him again would quickly turn my stomach.
Worse than the narcissist though, was the Too-Serious-Too-Soon Guy. By date two (and sometimes ONE!) he would be talking about us meeting each other’s families and getting married. Quickly, he would turn from a prospect of my future to a desperate man on a desperate chase to get out of the dating scene as quickly as possible with anyone who would say yes, regardless of the fit. Not only did I not want to go on another date with him, but I would cut the evening short once the talk of wedding bells began.
Too often, this is what we do with our marketing messages. We try and show off our features, advantages and benefits (the Narcissist) and/or we ask for the sale on our first contact (the Too-Serious-Too-Soon Guys). Marketing needs to be a process of attracting our customers, engaging, and THEN selling in a timeline that makes sense for both parties. Your leading dialogue should not be a monologue about you, but messaging that is about your prospects’ pains and how you might be able to address them. You can then together decide if you are the best match for one another and move forward into a sale and a relationship that is mutually beneficial.
The benefits are far reaching for selling AFTER you have attracted and engaged your prospects. First, it is much easier to sell to an educated prospect who knows how you can heal their pain/fulfill their needs. This will dramatically increase your close rate and the quality of customer you attract. Secondly, attracting and then engaging your prospect in your messaging channels before you try and make the sale will eliminate the “price-shopping-for-comparison” customer. Your prospects will not be comparing you to others because you are the one they have a relationship with and have trust in. Thirdly, by building trust before you make the sale, you can secure a much higher price in the marketplace. This is because you aren’t just selling goods or services. You are a trusted advisor who is an expert in the marketplace.
Successful marketing takes time, is strategic and involves many touches, but don’t get too hands-on right away. After all, it’s just the first date.
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